GotNoBlue’s Weblog

Yesterday was my dad’s birthday. I have been thinking a lot about my father these days, as I continue the adventure of fatherhood myself.

It has taken me quite a bit of time to adjust to having a kid, especially in the decisions that get made for me. For example, I wanted to get some reading done the other night, but my child wanted to scream into my ear for a while, and scream louder when I put her down.  Now, I don’t holding a crying child, well, I don’t mind holding my own crying child. I’ll toss yours right back at you when it starts to cry - which is usually because I am holding it. I have an uncanny act for making babies cry. And women and men. <Mostly due to my awesome good looks and unnatural charm. Anyway.

I don’t think that my daughter is being selfish when she wants to be held, although she always wants to be held when I want to something else. But I do realize that when I was younger, I was really selfish. I didn’t recognize it at the time - really young kids don’t comprehend when they are being selfish - but I was selfish none the less.

Then I think about what my father must given up for me. All the times that I screamed, kicked, yelled for attention. I wonder how much more he could have accomplished, how much more fishing he could have done if he hadn’t had to run my all over the place for this activity or that. I think about how unselfishly he gave time, money, cars, advice, more money, education.

I think about how I hope I can live up to his example for my daughter, including always having to clean a gun when a boy came over to see my sister! I hope I can give to my little girl in the same selfless, yet not spoiling, manner as he gave to me.

Thanks, dad. And happy birthday.